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I’ve spent the past three years dating as a single mom – including a year-long relationship—and let me tell you something: there is no better time than to date than as a single mom. When I was dating in my twenties, I was looking for a husband with a healthy set of testicles with which to sire children. You survived that, and not only are you better for it – you’re sexier for it. Age and childbearing has allowed you to enjoy your body for all it has to offer. When I met my husband in my mid-twenties, I was still struggling to make my way professionally. When we do have time for boyfriends, we make the very most of it. There is less temptation to piddle away hours waiting on losers to commit just because you’re lonely (you will end up selling your engagement ring anyway with those guys). I can check that off my life to-do list and look for a man for love or companionship or sex – or all three. Whether the single part was by way of divorce, breakup, death or choice, it was a big deal, and that changed you. I have lunches to make and doctor appointments to schedule. Busy single moms have fewer lonely nights to fill, fewer dinners eaten alone.I am asked surprisingly a lot if I ever look back and wish I would have had an abortion, knowing I would have to raise a child alone.
A huge stipulation is if my relationship with my daughter is respected by my partner and he embraces who she is.I don’t ever want someone to feel they have to take on the daddy role to be in a relationship with me.I have realized some key things that have helped me to ignore and surpass many stereotypes.The following is a list of comments I can recall hearing in the last couple years which hold no validity: -“Single moms are the least likely women to get remarried.” -“Children in single-parent families always have deficits, do poorly in school and suffer emotionally and behaviorally.” -“Single-parent families are “broken homes.” -“Children from single-parent families have lower self-esteem.” -“Children raised by single moms actually resent and hate their mothers” -“Single mothers are unable to give their sons the upbringing that they need and once they have to face the world, they prove to be failures since they lacked a man living at home. (The truth here is that a child needs family with a healthy relationship) -“Youth raised by a single mom are at higher risk for substance abuse.” -“Children are at greater risk of physical abuse in single mother households than in single father households.” -“High Youth Crime Rates are a direct result of not having a father at home.” -“Children fare worse in single parent homes.” -“Single moms are lonely and have a hard time finding a mate.” -“A child is better off raised by an unrelated married couple than by her own parents if her mother is single at the time she is born.” -“A child is better off raised by an older person than by her young mother.” -“A child is better off with wealth than with her own mother or father.” – “Children growing up without a father in the home are more than twice as likely to end up in jail.” Reading statements like that make my blood boil.I am proud to be able to prove all these statements wrong.